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July 01, 2006
fat driver
In lieu of making this blog a weight loss diary, I'm just gonna let people know that I'm fat.
WAIT! don't stop reading! I promise this wont become one of those angsty teen journals OR one of those middle age weepy i'm going to eat yogurt only diarys. PLUS i'm not 200 lbs, I just got a little more giggle then I'd like.
I reached a new high today on the scale thats all, and then my family told me i was fat and then I decided to not eat anything. ever.
OK, OK, it's not that bad, it's just...well you know, ripping all the self esteem I had left right out of my heart, and it devouring in front of me.
Plus my best friend is 5'8" and weighs like 110, but...you know...what ever.
I'm always left behind as the hot girls fat best friend. Do you have any idea what its like? I'm the pretty girls, ugly friend at the bar that no one wants to talk to till they've had a few drinks. I'm the one 60 yr old men want to touch at the counter.
Eh, I'll get over it I guess, my idea of self image wavers every two days, and I'll buy myself new shoes and I'll be fine. I mean Marylin Monroe was a size 12 right? Or maybe thats just what fat girls tell themselves to make them feel better.
Ok new topic:
I, really, never got my lisence. DONT ask me why, I couldn't giv e you an answer. People younger and my age look at me like I got the plague, like I'm some sort of freak that if they get near they'll get driving cooties. To tell the truth I just never had time. When you're @ school 12 hours a day it limits you're choices.
So I just passed drivers ed a few fridays ago, and I was drivin with the instructor today (I do have my permit) and I PARALLELELELEL PARKED. Yes ladies and gentle men. I Parked. All by my freaking self. I did it. Yes. Me. Cause I'm the shit.
Freedom here I come.
...now all i need...is a car :(
rant | By west | 12:34 PM
Comments
Christ on a raft can I relate to this one, I can bust ass and the best I can hit is a tight squeeze into a size 10 (at 5'8"). Don't freak about it, I hear tits and ass are making a comeback. I have to admit that I did kick close to 60 pounds a couple years ago. Cutting out carbs and sugar will take the weight off fast, but it's a lifestyle change, and it sucks ass only being able to eat salads on the menu when I go out.
Ready for the big mental fuck you? It takes years before you don't mentally think of yourself at your worst weight. It's only been recently in my mind that I have stopped thinking of myself as, well, plump was a nice way of putting it. Isn't self image a lovely thing?
Posted by: Rachael at July 1, 2006 04:33 PM
*start of weepy teenage drama*
I mean I know I'm not the only one. We all have self image problems and it sounds like you really know how it is.
but atleast you're 5 8. I'm five foot and I can barley squeeze a ten. I'm just abnormally plump right now. freshman 15 didnt help.
maybe I just need to stop eating.
but we shall struggle together eh?
*end of weepy teenage drama here*
Posted by: west at July 1, 2006 07:48 PM
Struggle is what it is. If I exercised regularly I'd be fine, however, when it's hot and I've had a bitchy day all I really want to do is lay in front of the tv watching DVDs, smoking, and eating ice cream/popcorn (depending on the severity of the day). With me, it's will power... some weeks I have it, some weeks I don't. Sadly this week I need to lay down on the bed and use a pair of pliers to yank up the zipper on my favorite jeans and have a cigarette afterwards to calm down from the effort.
I swear, you're running some sort of truth serum site here. I'd usually never admit to half the shit I've posted in your comments section.
Posted by: Rachael at July 2, 2006 05:54 PM
I try my best :-)
Posted by: west at July 2, 2006 08:05 PM